Girl in the Machine - This guy are sick.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Zero Suit Scandal

Super Smash Bros. Brawl was finally unleashed to the public last week--and to my delight, right smack in the middle of my Spring Break. And for that week I experienced the peaceful life of a hermit, serenely kicking ass in front of my Wii with little food, drink, or sleep. So deep was my meditation in front of that glorious flickering screen that, alas, there was simply no time for updates last Friday.

Adventure mode in particular is fun and engaging, and being the Nintendo fangirl that I am (hell, I grew up on the stuff), each cheesy cutscene left me in giggles. After a few stages, I arrived at the research facility, and I finally got to see Zero Suit Samus in motion.

Guys? Remember, a few months ago, when I expressed the reservations I had about how Zero Suit Samus would be treated? Christ on a cracker, I was right.

Practically every cutscene Zero Suit Samus is in, it seems there's a camera stuck to her boobs or her ass. They seemed inescapable, thanks to her exaggerated proportions. I felt like Lewis Black was behind me with every cutscene, shouting "Ass-ass! Titties-titties-ass-ass!" I couldn't wait to get her Power Suit so I could stop speculating how uncomfortable it would be to wear such a frighteningly vaccumm-sealed suit. But it wasn't just the creepy camera-ogling, either; Zero Suit Samus has a distinctly more feminine air to her, even if she's just standing in one place. The body language she emits before and after she obtains her Power Suit are jarringly different.

As a fighter, Zero Suit Samus isn't too bad. She's much faster out of her suit, which is nice, but as a hardcore Metroid fan I feel I must nitpick here. Isn't her Power Suit supposed to make Samus faster and more agile than the average human? I would understand if Zero Suit Samus were easier to knock off screen, but I'm not convinced she would be faster without her suit. The laser whip thingy she carries isn't as SexySexy Danger as I had anticipated, thank god, but it is significantly girlier than Power Suit Samus's grappling beam. Overall, Zero Suit Samus is certainly not a downgraded version of Power Suit Samus, in spite of her cheesecakey tendencies. For that I applaud Nintendo.

However, I am still disappointed in Super Smash Bros. Brawl for confirming my fears about Samus. She was the only human female of the Smash Bros. series who wasn't superfemme, but now Nintendo, like Activision did with Guitar Hero III, has succeeded in feminizing all of its female characters.

Ugh, I'm going to go beat up some Waddle-Dees.

Labels: Body Language, Fighter, Metroid, PlasmaRit, Sexuality, Super Smash Bros.

Posted by PlasmaRit
2:46 PM + Link to this post
3 comments

Friday, September 7, 2007

First Friday Drinking Game

Welcome to another installment of the fabulous First Friday Drinking Game. This month, we'll be raising our glasses to the fine games in the Metroid franchise in celebration of Metroid Prime: Corruption's release last week. While it is well known that I am a fanatic of the series, there are still plenty of things I feel the need to have a drink to. So, let's get on with the rules!

1 drink every time a monster is just below/above normal cannon fire
1 drink every time Ridley comes back from the dead
2 drinks if Ridley's a robot
1 drink for every infuriating speed block puzzle (Note: 1 drink may improve concentration, but be wary of multiple puzzles--blurry vision does not help with timing)
2 drinks for every wall jump puzzle (I'm looking at you, Super Metroid)
1 drink for every daring timed escape out of anything that's about to explode, be it ship or planet
1 drink for every arm cannon switch that takes a little too long
2 drinks whenever hunter Gandrayda refers to Samus as "Sammie" (okay, so it is pretty funny, but still drink-worthy)

And finally:
Finish your drink at the end of a Metroid game if Samus's outfit under her suit has random peep windows/weird cutouts have no reason to exist on something she wears under her suit during missions

Warning: Excessive drinking during gameplay may result in a reduction of cannon accuracy and a dramatic increase in metroid head-munching. Play with caution!

Think I forgot something? Suggest a rule in the comments section!

What drinking games do YOU want to play every month? If there is any genre or specific game you want featured in FFDG, drop me a line at PlasmaRit at gmail dot com.

Plasma out.

Labels: First Friday Drinking Game, FPS, Metroid, PlasmaRit, Platforming

Posted by PlasmaRit
4:30 PM + Link to this post
2 comments

Friday, August 24, 2007

Countdown to Corruption

Over the past few weeks, life at chez Plasma has been full of Metroid goodness in preparation for Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. I've played through Metroid: Zero Mission again, restarted MP 2: Echoes (for sadly, I lost my original memory card), drooled over Samus statues (thanks a lot, Brinstar), and of course downloaded the Corruption Preview channel on my Wii. It's been a while since I've been reduced to a giggling school girl this often.

Of course, these videos aren't helping my situation either. While we wait the agonizing three days for the game to be released (August 27th, people! Mark it!), I leave you with these breathtaking glimpses into the game. Enjoy!

Title Screen:

Teaser:

Aurora Units:

E3 2007 In-Game Footage:

Labels: FPS, Metroid, PlasmaRit, Platforming

Posted by PlasmaRit
12:37 AM + Link to this post
0 comments

Friday, July 27, 2007

Jubilations for Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

Plasma's a very happy girl. You see, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption is coming out in less than a month, and I can hardly contain myself. MP 2: Echoes slated my thirst for more Metroid but left me wanting a little more, and Corruption looks like it will take up the slack--and then some. I've been browsing around the internet for previews, pictures, and other little gems about the game, and what I've seen has justified my jubilations.

The story, while not the most unique of stories, leaves the game wide open for very cool happenings. Rumor has it that Space Pirates have harnessed some kind of deadly virus that must be stopped. Bounty hunters from near and far are gathered, Samus answering the call as well, to deliver vaccines to cities for restoring their Aurora Units and to stop the pirates before the virus spreads. I'm sure metroids factor into the equation somewhere as well, and a quick viewing of E3 trailors confirms the inclusion of the ever-revivable Ridley as one of our dastardly space pirates.

The graphics. This game is breathtakingly beautiful. Mp3: Corruption flaunts the capabilities of the Wii every chance it gets, from Samus's detailed ship to the gilded buildings of Skytown, Elysia. This is no Gamecube game that somehow found its way onto the Wii (I'm looking at you, Twilight Princess); Corruption is a sparkling jewel of lush environments and really, really cool suits.

The controls. Retro Studios fine tunes the Wiimote in a way that far outshines many of the Wii's current games. Players use the Wiimote to open doors, enter codes, type on keypads--and blast a few space pirates into oblivion, of course. Implementing this technology is realistic (ie, opening doors) rather than gimmicky, a complaint I've had about the Nintendo DS's touch screen for several games. While there is an auto-lock feature, Corruption doesn't spoon-feed combat strategies. There is a learning curve, and players can hone their skills early before facing more challenging monsters in the future.

The new suit. The cherry on top of every Metroid game, the new suit in Corruption is sleek, beautiful, and dangerous-looking. This PED suit (Phazon Enchancement Device) comes with a slew of cool new abilities, too: remember the first Metroid Prime? The PED suit allows Samus to harness her Phazon powers and throw the bounty hunter into a temporary hypercharged state, or the creatively-named "Hypermode." It's a sweet new addition to the library of suits.

The people. Most Metroid games are very isolated, with Samus as the only real character in a world of impersonal creatures and space pirates. Corruption takes a page from MP: Hunters by adding more bounty hunters to the mix. Samus gets to interact with other humans/humanoids (which, after so many years of limited human contact, I'm sure Samus herself is excited about), and--what is this? Another female character, perhaps? If I'm not mistaken, this is one of the first Metroid games to feature a female character other than the famous bounty hunter herself. And speaking of which . . .

Everyone's favorite bounty hunter. What kind of dangerous hijinks with Samus get into this time? How will she react to certain situations? Will players learn a little more about our intrepid hero? Inquiring minds want to know! I see this game as a great opportunity to expand on Samus's character, to let her grow and change. I enjoyed Metroid Fusion for allowing Samus a voice to express her thoughts and views throughout the game; it was something I missed in Metroid Prime. I want to see more of the bounty hunter as a person, which can be done in subtle but effective ways. Corruption's pristine graphics should allow more than enough room to fill Samus with life and expression, even while in her suit.

So enjoy this trailer from E3 2007, on me. What are your thoughts on Corruption? Is it living up to your expectations, or do you want more? I'd be more than happy to discuss.

Special thanks to IGN.com for images.

Labels: FPS, Metroid, PlasmaRit, Platforming

Posted by PlasmaRit
2:11 AM + Link to this post
3 comments

Friday, June 15, 2007

Thanks, Nintendo; I had No Idea She was a Chick.

I am incredibly excited about Super Smash Bros. Brawl. It's one of two games I'm waiting to buy a Wii for (the other one being Animal Crossing, if you want to know). I can hardly wait to see all the beautiful new battle arenas and additional characters Nintendo's designing. While I do try out every fighter, I always go back to my tried and true characters: Fox and Samus. So when I found this clip from E3 last year, I watched it with great anticipation. Like I expected, I saw some of my favorite fighters in action, but something else I noticed makes me a little . . . worried.

Did you catch it? I'll give you a hint: it has something to do with Samus. Yes, she can now be decked out in her so-called "Zero Suit"--good eye there. It's nice that she gets a costume change for once. But, it's not the suit itself I have a problem with. Go ahead, give it another watch. I'll wait.

See it now? Okay, I'll give you a hint.

Here's everyone's favorite bounty hunter as we normally see her. Along with her signature orange suit, Samus stands strong, like a formidable warrior. Her left hand is balled into a fist. She's crouched into a battle stance--look at how much space she's taking up. Like her face, she's got her arm canon pointed straight at you, ready for the kill. Just looking at this image, you get a sense of tension and power. Girl looks dangerous.

Now, here's Samus in her Zero Suit:

Her body is now in a straight, graceful line, taking up as little space as possible. Instead of a fiery orange and yellow, Samus is garbed in a soft sky blue. She appears to be in mid-jump, rather than in any extreme position, such as the beginning or end of the jump. One leg is bent to show off her round ass. Her back is arched to look over one shoulder. Her body itself is angled away from the viewer, and the fingers on her left hand are softly splayed out in a feminine manner.

I call total bullshit here. Can you honestly see Samus in her power suit posing like this? Instead of the intimidating figure she cut in the first image, she now looks almost harmless. There is absolutely no reason why she would change her body language just because she's not in full armor. One of my favorite things about Samus has been that she is a badass bounty hunter first--and she hardly ever found herself in cheesecakey poses (if at all). Now that she's out of the suit, she's been forced into the infamous tits-and-ass pose.

At the very least, the suit itself has no strange cutouts like some of her past suits have had (as seen in various Metroid game endings). Her boots are flat and functional, and her hair is sensibly tied back into a ponytail. I do wonder how she gets all that hair into her helmet, though--it's not quite that long in Metroid Prime (although it was in Fusion), but I'm nitpicking here.

From what I've heard, Zero Suit Samus's blaster can also turn into a laser whip; if the designers aren't careful, Samus could be treading dangerously close into Sexy Sexy Danger territory. It really disappoints me (although doesn't surprise me) that my favorite character is being turned into a sex object just because you can actually tell she's a woman now--like this greenlights the ogling of fanboys everywhere. I don't like the fact that Samus has to cover up her body in order to act badass as per her real personality. I want to see Zero Suit Samus in the same in-your-face poses she's always been in.

My point is, it's just not Samus's personality to be in these cheesecake poses. Why can't she be depicted in fierce battle stances like she's always been? I don't like the fact that her unique character has to come second to the fact that she has teh boobies. Unlike Lara Croft, Samus is famous for her tough-as-nails exterior and her drive to clear out both metroids and space pirates, not for her sexiness. So, I'm awaiting SSB Brawl with a mixture of anticipation and trepidation. I'll hold my breath and hope that Nintendo won't turn my favorite video game icon into just another girly show for rabid fanboys--and that she'll remain the tough and intimidating fighter I know and love.

And if I see a single hip pop from her, there's going to be hell to pay.

Special thanks to IGN.com for the images

Labels: Body Language, Fighter, Metroid, PlasmaRit, Sexuality, Super Smash Bros.